Would you be able to name everyone you kissed in 09?
hahaha its not too expansive of a list. so yes.

Who's the last person who you went out to eat with?
kellay + pegahh

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?
negative.

Do you think you're wasting your time on the person you like?
yeahh :/

How many people do you trust?
a feww.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
yesss.

Would you ever take someone back after they cheated on you?
this is embarassing. but maybe depending who it is.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you were on the phone with?
audrey?

Do you think someone has feelings for you?
nope.

Do you know anyone who doesn’t smoke pot?
pahhahahaha NO ONE.

How would your parents react if you got a tattoo or piercing?
uhh they'd freak at the tattoo. the piercing they'd be like OMGG HOPEE IT DOESNT GET INFECTEDDD

This time last year, were you single?
uhh yeah.

Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
....no! well. not personally anyways.

Are you scared to fall in love?
idk.

Do you think teenagers can fall in love?
of course.

Next time you will kiss someone?
whenevaaa. sike idk.

Heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
yeah.

What's your last text say?
"Joey haavik. imma eat u then kill u."
pegah loves me <3

Are you in a good mood?
yeah i guess.

Do you think exes can remain friends?
yeah.

When did you meet the last male you texted?
i have no idea...

Are you currently looking forward to anything?
christmas/break/HOMEWORKKK DUHH

What were you doing at 7:45AM this morning?
sleepingg

Have you hugged someone within the last week?
yepp

Do you put ketchup on top of your french fries or on the side?
sidee

How many tattoos would you like to have?
nonneee

Have you ever hung out with someone just to hang out?
of course. what other reason is there.

What was the last thing you drank?
Water.

Last five recent calls?
idkk i dont feel like checkinn

Is it easy to annoy you?
nahhh.im relatively chill.

What woke you up this morning?
umm. my mom. it was like 2 :]

How's your heart lately?
palpatating.

What do you hate about your school?
ummm. idk. i dont have huge qualms against it.

Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever?
i hope it gets a little better after high school hahaha

Are you a jealous person?
i try not to be

Do you love anyone at all?
of courseeeee

Do you currently have a hickey?
ahhahahah nooo

This time yesterday, where could I have found you?
....hm. not doing homework?

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
flyinggg

Explain why you last cried?
it was something stupid.

When was the last time you dyed your hair?
hahaha nevaa

Last time you laughed?
ummm todayyy

Did you wear what you are wearing today for a specific reason?
noopeee.
im not sure why im wearing a t-shirt in 30 degree weather really.

What are you doing today?
homework, sleeping.

Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
not at all. shes a cutie.

Has a guy put their arm around you in the past five days?
hahahah BEN.

Who did you last piss off?
idkkk. probably someone without knowing.

Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?
yes.

What is in your pocket?
cell phone

Who was the last person you talked to?
ashley

Last person you made a bet with?
ummm. ma grandmaaa

Is there anything you always do before you go to bed?
listen to music

Wanna get anything off your chest?
what? besides this girl? ;D
no um. yeah.
i doo.

.
does wintertime have an effect on your mood?
a little bitt

when was the last time you felt extremely depressed?
a whilee. thats good :]

how vivid are your dreams?
i never remember them. but when i do, they're pretty rockin

have you ever been unable to recall someone's name?
sometimesss hahahaa.

do you pick out your clothing the night before?
nopee

how many times a week do you need to do laundry?
whenevaaa

how organized would you say that you keep your closet?
it's not too bad actually

how many meals a week do you eat with your family?
2-3 times?

are you proud of the person that you are becoming?
maybe.

do you know anyone that thinks s/he knows everything?
hahahaha eww this girl in my history class

how do you deal with someone that challenges your belief-system?
punch em'

do you ever try to talk to others about your personal beliefs?
hahah only if the subject comes up. i mean, i dont walk around school trying to convert peeps

what do you look for in a potential partner?
idk. be different. make good macaroni.

how many surveys do you fill out a day, would you say?
27462893746.34.
sike. like 1 a week.

how skilled are you are poem-writing?
idk. i guess. i used to be better i think.

do you get nightmares from horror films?
nahhh.

what was the last potluck dinner that you attended?
never been.

do you know anyone who is obsessed with grammatical correctness?
hahaha yeah. dose peeps rok.

how is your spelling?
SPELLING BEE CHAMP FTW.

what is one vegetable that you find disgusting?
ASPARAGUS.

when was the last time that you went out to eat?
sundayyy. bahama breeze yoo

do you know anyone that works as a waitress?
MRS. ERICKSEN. ahhaha mrs. pieplow told us once that she was a flight attendant

how do you earn your money?
sex. sike. wait...yeahnobye.

when was the last time you received an allowance?
634 years.

do you drive yet?
nooo >:[

if so, what kind of car do you drive?
THE TOADSTOOL KART!!

how many pairs of shoes do you own?
4?

how much time do you spend dwelling on past mistakes?
ahahhahah whenever im bored i seem to go there ahha

what would you consider to be the biggest mistake of your life?
idk...
i make alot.

would you shave your head to support a friend with cancer?
hmmm. idk. they might not want me to.

how many words per minute do you think you are capable of typing?
-84

do you have a favorite word? do you use this word in everyday conversation?
The copious quagmires this morning has been quite flabbergasting.

how expansive is your vocabulary?
haahahha i like to think its not bad.

how trusting would you say that you are of other people?
pretty trusting. it can be sometimes.

have you ever had anyone abuse your trust?
yep.

who was the last person to break your heart?
-

have you ever tried to get revenge on someone that did you wrong?
in kindergarten someone stole my fingerpaints so i threw my shoe at em'

what is something that you consider to be petty?
hmm. all state hahahah

who was the last friend to exit your life?
hmm. idk. they're all kind of there, just not as much as they used to be.

do you ever feel like you've lost control of your emotions?
definitelyy

who was the last person that you spoke with?
talking to erinn right noww

who makes you laugh the hardest?
hmmm. bernie hhahaha

if you could have anyone as your roommate, who would it be?
idkkk! anyonee haha

what city do you most desire to live in?
Seattle. maybe somewhere in california.

what would you consider to be the biggest mistake of your life?
Wow. idk. doing this survey. took me forever.

It's so weird how emotions can be so bipolar sometimes. How one day you can hate someone and not look forward to anything at all, and then the next you can love them and cannot wait to see what the future holds in store for you.

I guess im feeling the latter right now. I dont even really care about school (even though i know it will be annoying as ever), because i love my friends and they can always get me through the day. As corny and cliche as that may sound, its sort of the truth. Im really thankful for that. I cant wait for christmas, and admittedly, this year ending cannot come soon enough. It might bring a new start to things, which i am more than anxious for. yaaaaaaaaay for new beginnings. (kind of) Oh yeah and your birthday is the first day of the year! my life is full of irony.

Anyway, i am pretty sure i had something more important to say, but i forgot. sooooorryry ya'll.
love you guys!

hmm. that was only a little more than weird.
i love you for listening.
<3

Today's a sick day.

10. Sometimes, i get a little worried about you. I know that we're only teenagers and we are still learning things about the world, but you dont need to go to such drastic measures like making out with random guys you dont even know. Especially guys who have broken your heart like a stick in the woods. I know that he doesnt give a shit about you, and it really really kills me to see you keep obsessing over him. He wont care if he broke your heart a million times more, but maybe if you say you'll stop kissing him. I dont know what to say to make you stop.
9. Im not sure if i will ever understand you, whether you being a bitch to everyone is just your natural way of living, or you dont think that what your doing is wrong. It doesnt make sense that you have any friends.
8. I really really really really really really miss you. I spent so many days lately, sitting in my classroom noticing that something was missing, and that there just wasnt the same happiness that there might've been before. As much as you may want to deny it, i know you havent made any friends because i know youre shy. I just really hope you can get over your shyness and meet alot of new people that you can become friends with. Youre one of the funniest people i know, and middle school just would not have been the same without you. I miss having you as my best friend.
7. One of the nicest people i have ever met in my entire life. It makes me sad when you tell me that you have no confidence in yourself, when in reality you are actually one the most amazing people ever. Simple things like waiting with me after band and just simply playing for me makes me happy. It really astounds me how someone like you, who has witnessed so much sorrow in their lifetime can still maintain such an awesome personality. The way you put people before yourself makes me love you, and i have no doubt that you will find someone to love you one day, because you just deserve it so much. scratch that. you deserve everyone's love.
6. One of the few people i can actually tell everything i want to to. You would never talk shit about me and it makes me so happy that i met you. I think also, you needed to talk to someone as well. We were both dealing with things in our lives, and i think we were kind of destined to attract towards eachother. (not that i really believe in that sort of stuff.) I really hope the rest of high school is okay. I really want to hang out with you.
5. I really cannot help but do anything but love you. I know i am a collossal jerk sometimes and i am probably the last person you would ever consider dating or anything like that, but i guess im sort of asking for you to look through that and remember what got us here in the first place. I know sometimes you think im annoying and stupid, and i know sometimes im the last person you want to talk to. Regardless, i cant help but want to be with you. Really one of the smartest people i know, i look up to you alot. I love having conversations with you at 2 am on school nights and talking with you in general. You introduced me to what love is, and i cannot be thankful enough. I knew from the first day that i met you that you were special. Neither of us had any idea of how things would turn out later, but there was always something special about you that i could never really put my finger on. You will always be in my heart, my body, my soul. I love you so goddam much it makes me crazy. thank you, you dont know how amazing you are.
4. my newww best friend :] i love you for thinking im hilarious when i am actually not at all. It really meant a lot to me when you said that i made your days. people really cannot help but love you, and i doubt you will ever be lonely. you are really the best. thanks for always being so nice to me.
3. you. are. an. asshole. you deserve anything you get, jerk.
2. Its weird finding out things that you have hidden from me all this time. I mean, i suppose its not exactly dinner conversation, but i guess i never really wanted to accept that you're an adult now, and you can make your own intelligent decisions. There is never a time you cant make me laugh, and it makes me happy whenever you come home. I love you and im excited for christmas with you.
1. I think i might like like you.

- You're never going to know what people really think of you and why.
- People change their minds maybe too often.
- Just because your heart was broken doesnt mean it still cant love.
- Something broken, although, doesnt always work the same.
- There was nothing more painful then seeing you like that.

What was worse, was not being able to do anything.
I want another chance.

you're so nice and you're so smart
you're such a good friend i hafta break your heart
tell you that i love you then i'll tear your world apart
just pretend i didn't tear your world apart.

yay im excited for thanksgiving :]

Im sorry, i'll try to write better entries for now on haha

yay.

what am i supposed to do.

Even though today was rainy and cold, it was still a great day for me.
Would've been better If you would've came.
Anyways, i want to take this moment to just thank everyone, for  making these 365 days from last november 11, when i think i might've actually started living for once, so worth the while.
I thank you, of course, for most of it.
For once, i had something to  live for, and i dont think you can really be more generous than that.  To know that you gave someones life a  little more  meaning. I know you might disregard this because i know we havent been as close lately, and you might not think that you deserve such praise. But i think you do. 
I really hope that means something to you.
Im sorry i have been so full of myself that i couldnt see how lucky i am to have you in my life, and even having this life. ahahahha i know this is a tad melodramatic, but its important that i say this.
For now on, i know that if i  do have a bad day, i wont have to try  to replicate this feeling, but instead look forward to future happiness.
Thats really all you can ask for you know. 
thank you so much, i love you all.

I apologize for the halt in entries.
kinda busy.

Typically, im updating at the time i really should be, with 20 chapters left to read of my english book by tomorrow. YAY. uhh. today we had nationals..and we got 8th...awesome. after that i had orchestra...even awesomer. Marching is pretty much over now, and i really have to say  that i have mixed feelings about it. I love some of the people in that band, and marching band was just an excuse to hang out with them that much more, so im going to miss that. Although, im not going to miss you intentionally hurting me everytime i get near you two! well. okay, its probably not intentional, but you must know how much that must hurt me. Think about it. Things havent been what i want as of late, but im going to have to deal with it. Sorry i wasnt what you thought i was. thats also an apology to myself. Feelings like that i dont think ever really  go away. As much as you may want them to, they wont. Anyways, its strange how good friends i am with you. Last person i thought i would become really good friends with after that happened. But you totally forgot about it and its awesome because youre just a really nice person, and you can make me laugh whenevah. It also makes me kind of sad that marching band is over, because there are alot of seniors that i am really good friends with, and im definitely going to miss.
People always leave. 
sorry, i really didnt want to end this on a bad note, so i just want to say that things are okay right now. 
If you are ever wondering, i think about you constantly. 
thanks.

 the truth is, im having a pretty  good time.

pretty baby, dont you leave me. i've been saving smiles for you.

 Come with me, my love.
To a haven of secrets and desires.
The words that got trapped in your ribcage
drown in ecstasy.
Come drown with me, my love.
In every argument and lament.
The rhythmic beat of our hearts
caressed eachother tenderly,
and intertwined like thread.
Come stay with me, my love.
Under the water and danger.
Swimming through nostalgia,
through passing glances and smiles.
I want to tell you how much i love you.
But only in our sea of love.

 I watched Juno today and it made me cry.
im weird.





ps. it felt really good.

 Are you currently on birth control?
yeah i need it.

Think back in February, how was your love life then?
it was great.

Who were you with Saturday night?
some of my favorite people.

Who was the last person you hung out with?
Erin. if that counts.

Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it?
UGH. story of my life.

Do you want to grow old with someone or be single forever?
I think if i can find someone to be with forever, that would be nice.

Do you gargle salty water when you're sick?
ew no.

How long would it take you to walk home from school?
hmm maybe like. an hour. hour and a half. i have no idea.

If you HAD to kiss someone right now, who would it be?
uuhhhhhh. 

Who was the last person to call you?
JESSICA hahahahahahha. what a weirdo.

Do you still talk to the person you fell fastest for?
yeah.

Are you talking to anyone while filling this out?
yep. Erin.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
i dont think i liked anyone.

Have you ever swam in a pool that wasn't yours?
duhh.

You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get?
hmmmm. lip i guess.

Have you kissed anyone in ' 09 that actually meant something?
yeah.

If you could make your lips bigger, would you?
no.

Have you ever kissed someone you weren' t dating?
yeah.

Did you kiss or hug anyone yesterday?
ahahahah both.

Have your friends ever randomly stopped by your house?
Ugh. i hate it when they do that -____-

Have you accidentally sent a text to the wrong person?
only 12984724 times.

Last person you kissed, have you cried in front of them?
nooope

If the last person you kissed bumped into you at school, what would you say?
yo.

What is in your pockets right now?
nothing.

Do you ever avoid answering questions?
sometimes.

What are you dressing up as for halloween?
lady gaga ahhahahaha 

Have your parents ever caught you drinking?
negative.

Have you ever gone nude/streaked in public ?
noooooo.

Did you ever think you had the swine flu?
hhaahahahahha i mean..its like a cough..so.

Does it bother you when people try to make you jealous?
yeah wtf.

What does your last text say?
'grandpa.' 

Do you reply to all of your texts?
i try to.

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed?
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i've  known her for about a month so....

Have you ever injected a drug?
ew. god. i hate needles.

Have you ever gotten a sunburn so bad it hurt to move?
hmmm kind of hahaha.

Are you imagining anyone naked right now?
this question triggered it  thanks!

Who were you with last night at 8 pm?
who knows.

What was your last voicemail and who was it from?
my mom hahaha wanted to know what time i wanted to get picked up.

Is something wrong with you right now?
i dont know.

What do you want right now?
satisfaction

Who did you last hug?
erin

What are you listening to?
5 years time - Noah and the Whale

When's your birthday?
couple of weeks.

What's your mood right now?
apathetic.

Could you last in a relationship for over a year?
maybe.

Are you lying to yourself about something?
yeah.

Miss anyone right now?
yeah.

 I love everything about you.
I want to get to know you so well. 
I think im falling for ya.

I love you.

 This keeps coming back to the same old melodramatic hopelessness that it always does. Im never going to make you happy, and its just so entirely hard for me to accept this fact. I want to take a really long walk with you. We can make photo albums of our emotions and only trade with eachother. Im so bad at expressing how im feeling that it just  makes me more upset that i can never tell anyone, and no one can ever help me. I am basically a lost cause. I keep waking up confused and i dont know where i am. I've been so scared to go to sleep because i keep dreaming about you, and every time it gets worse and worse and i never know what to do. I feel like im trapped inside a mirror, forced to look inside myself 24/7, but no one wants to help me. The one person who can actually help me doesnt anymore. And i miss them so much. I miss you. I miss all the honesty we used to share. Tell me everything. please. god. please just. i cant go on like this anymore.
I havent been this bad in a while, and all i need to know is that you care about me. i feel like an idiot every time i say how i feel, because all you can respond with is an apology. I forgot what this felt like.
im never going to be completely happy.

 lolol. kbye.
every one is nice to me, but they dont want to be.
i dont get you whatsoever. make up your mind.
because it actually really hurts sometimes. 
thanks!


Don't tell me lies, so where's your man?
in ma pants ya'll

First name of the last person to text you?
audrey? i dont know. i lose my phone every 3.4 seconds

Who was the last person you had a conversation with on the phone?
ma soeur

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
indeed.

Has anyone said they love you in the last week?
yeah

Have you faced any of your fears lately?
yeah

Have you ever kissed under water?
lol across the universe.
no.

Who was the last person to comfort you as you cried?
i dont even know.

Do you have to plug your nose while swimming under water?
sometimes.

Are you a heart breaker?
i tried hard not to be.

Do you know anyone who committed suicide?
yeah

Is it ever too late to apologize?
it depends.

Do your computer speakers work?
built in bisnatch.

Which friend are you most similiar to?
bernie!

Have you kissed anyone whose name starts with a M?
no.

Would you kiss the last person who texted you, on the lips?
it  might've been my sister...so no. omg incest. ew.

Camping with a ton of friends or hotel with a few friends?
CAMPING.

Have you ever kissed anyone who's name starts with P, J, R, M, C or D?
yeah.

Your last ex died today, how would you feel?
really sad.

Who can make you feel better in a difficult situation?
mes copains!!

Has anyone told you they don't ever wanna lose you?
no.

What's on that way top shelf or in the very far back of your closet?
probably something cool. like simpsons clue. or a sleeping bag. you can pretty much find anything you want in there.

Where would you rather live, England or Australia?
AUSTRALIA. lol omg so i can..live...with my fellow joeys.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
wtf ya'll

Do you fall for people easily?
contrary to popular belief, not really.

What do you do when you have a bad day?
nap. sometimes be antisocial. sometimes talk to someone. depends.

If you are sitting on the porch and see an ant, do you squash it?
nah jerks

Do you want someone dead?
noo

What would be the first thing you would do with 100,000 dollars?
god i have no idea. maybe go on a vacation. that would be really nice. 
im sick of maryland.

Would you rather go to Africa or Paris for two weeks?
paris! FRENCH 2 HONORS YEAH.
wait africa speaks french too! omg.
If you clone yourself and kill your clone, is it considered suicide?
i dont think so. i hope people dont start cloning themselves.
that would be so weird.

Have you ever thought you were dying but you were actually just pregnant?
4th period.

Is your crush banging someone else?
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Are you addicted to cigarettes?
nope.

Do you know anyone named holly?
d'zumara.

Are you upset because you actually aren't even cool?
ahahahahhaahhaha 

Have you ever kissed someone who was drunk?
maybe they were drunk hahaha.

 i told myself i would never open up to you.
wtf.

 i probably couldnt be happier at this moment in time.
everything is happening perfectly, and school is barely even a bother anymore.
<3